


Sorry, I Loved You

by scratchfliprepeat



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Adora Remains with the Horde (She-Ra), Alternate Universe - Catra is She-Ra, Angst, Catra (She-Ra) Leaves the Horde, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Magicatra AU, POV Catra (She-Ra), Princess Catra (She-Ra)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25032082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scratchfliprepeat/pseuds/scratchfliprepeat
Summary: Catra thinks on the things that drove them apart— and maybe, it was all meant to happen.(It doesn't mean that she needs to be happy about it.)
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 56





	Sorry, I Loved You

"Why did you do it?" Catra asked. "Everything."

It was a mistake for Adora to follow Catra into the abandoned First Ones building, Catra herself couldn't even navigate the damn place, much less figure out how to get it to stop attacking. It even attacked Catra _—_ who was supposed to be She-ra.

Adora's golden strands of hair gleamed exactly how it used to— in the halls of the Horde, as they chased each other down. In the halls of the First Ones building, where Catra is desperately trying to bring Adora back. 

"Me?" Adora laughed. "Catra, I should be asking _you_ that."

Exactly as stubborn as she used to be, too. Her crystal blue eyes swept over from side to side. She was on edge, wary of everything around her. She viewed this as a dangerous place.

That was that the Horde taught her. Taught _them._ The Rebellion was the enemy. This was Rebellion territory. These were the ideas that Adora and Catra were fed all of their life— but Catra always felt _wrong._

Shadow Weaver's touch was too harsh, her squad mates had always shunned her— and maybe that was the reason why Catra could see the puppet strings. When you were distanced from everyone, you can see how the puzzle pieces fit, and who was moving them.

Adora, Adora did _not._

"You burned down an entire village, Adora." _Adora, Adora, Adora._ The name always tasted sweet. "How can you not _see_ what's going on?" 

Adora held her chin up. She pulled her shoulders back. She was always held above by Shadow Weaver, admired by their squad mates. She had always shined so brightly that even _she_ was blinded by her own light. When the Horde pointed her to a direction, that's where she went. Why wouldn't she?

If the Horde has a princess, it would be Adora.

And Shadow Weaver would be her queen, whispering in her ear.

"They were holding a _Horde soldier._ Do you seriously think they're innocent?" Adora was frustrated. She was a rubber band tight enough to _snap—_ and snap she did. She turned her heel to face her. "Catra, please, will you stop playing dumb?"

Catra abruptly stopped. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I get it." Adora ran her snow fingers through her golden hair. "The Horde is annoying, or stupid, or whatever else you want to say— "

"I'm sorry," Catra was _shocked._ "Do you _seriously_ think that I'm just— I'm just acting out for attention?"

Catra turned her heel to face Adora. Her heart was loud, thudding in her ears as she stared in those blue, _blue_ eyes. But her blood was wild, hot as it raced through her skin. 

The way Adora laughed nervously, the way those stupid, _brilliant_ eyes skirted over to the side, the way her hand was slowly reaching her neck— it was all too telltale. 

"Oh, oh _really?"_ Catra asked.

"I'm not saying anything." Adora laughed. _Laughed_ in her face. "Look, Catra, can we please go home?"

Roots had grown under Catra's feet, grounding her on the tile floor. Something hard and heavy settled on her chest, pushing _down, down, down_ rendering her unable to breathe.

In this moment, Catra was far too aware that whatever she does, it will never, _never_ be enough. She would always be the hotheaded, wild, dirty soldier for the Rebellion. She would always be the unfocused, useless cadet for the Horde. 

But Adora hadn't. Adora listened. Adora pushed Catra playfully when she climbed on Adora's back. Adora let her sleep on the foot of her bed. Adora always got in trouble in classes for entertaining Catra's antics.

But maybe that was all that was. Adora was simply entertaining Catra. Adora never held her as an _equal._

Even Adora never took Catra seriously.

And if Catra was the fool, the joker, the jester— then she might as well play the role. 

Catra smiled. She smiled until her cheeks hurt. She smiled until the sides of her dual colored eyes (two-faced, two sides,) crinkled. She smiled until her sharp, glistening fangs were out in the open.

She cocked her head to the side. "Why don't you go ahead and catch me, Force Captain?"

When she ran, Adora would always, _always_ catch her.

" _Really,_ Catra? Will you stop playing around for once?" Adora groaned. As she chased after her, she didn't crack a smile.

This time, it's different. Catra would _never_ be caught.

"Don't worry. No one's winning this round."

Catra's voice echoed through the halls, trailing behind her like a shadow. 

**Author's Note:**

> i always felt like the magicatra au made more sense than canon. cmon, lets face it. if she-ra didn't exist, catra would definitely have defected first.
> 
> i would have loved to see force captain adora, too. how far would she recede in herself and how far would she betray her own morals?


End file.
